Sunday, October 26, 2008

Chapter 1

"Hey, it's mine!" Richie called as he swung his zapper at a beetle.
"Another miss!" I laughed as I once again hit the beetle in the hotspot, causing it to recoil into itself. "Yeah!" I called. "Booya!" as it popped into the familiar glowing mist and adding to my total, which will, in time, give me one of the best bounty hunts in the region. Jonny Gax, aliases Pyro, The Arsenist, Blaze, and almost any other flame related thing that could possibly be used as a name, will be turned in, alive, and give my family name honor. Richie scowled, guessing my thoughts, and gave me a little pop with his zapper. I cursed under my breath, then went to the showcaser to take my next test. "Renegade! Real... Good luck. He's angry."

5 comments:

Shep said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shep said...

May I make a suggestion? Make your chapters longer and use more sensory details. Like sight, smell, hearing, taste, touch, and feeling (like emotions)

Mark said...

Point taken, but dude, I'm only eleven...

Angel Wings said...

That was intence, but I agree with Seth...

Your only eleven...WOW! I thought you were at least twelve.
Are you in the sixth grade?

-make a note of it

Angel Wings

luvclutter said...

awesome...first try? I am anxious to hear more........